The Average Cost of a Wedding Has Increased Significantly
You scraped by to pay off the cost of your engagement ring (and wedding bands) – now you have to figure out how to pay for the biggest cost of them all: your wedding. The average wedding cost $30,000 in 2022, according to research from The Knot. This is down from pre-COVID levels of almost $40K. But, it is still more than 10X what my cheap wedding cost. It’s also more than the $27,400 average student loan debt at graduation from 4-year public universities. Enlightening.
Is the average wedding cost reasonable? And what kind of impact does it have on newlyweds? Data shows that high wedding costs can actually lead to lower marriage success rates. So, there may be more reason than you think to watch the cost of your wedding – because it can absolutely cripple a new family financially, just as it is getting started.
It’s also worth noting that the average wedding cost by state varies quite dramatically – with a number of states (DC, MA, NJ, NY, RI, VT) topping out at over $40,000, on average!
The Longer-Term Impact of Wedding Costs
The immediate price tag isn’t the only thing you should consider with a wedding. The average cost of a wedding can multiply over time when you factor in what that money could have earned in interest over the years, with the power of compound interest.
For example, someone in their 50s today would have an extra $100,000 if they’d saved just $5,000 more 30 years ago, if they had earned 6% above inflation rate over that time on their investment.
Of course, this is assuming that the bride and groom are paying with cash that they have diligently saved up in anticipation of the big day. Most often, that is not the case. Weddings are debt traps! In which case, not only are you not making a return on the money you spent on the wedding, you are living with that debt for years, maybe even decades. Not a good way to start a lifelong bond.
The Guilt of Having Others Pay for your Wedding
The tradition of having the bride’s parents pay for everything is slowly eroding away, and according to a study done by theweddingreport.com, the bride and groom pay for the majority of expenses.
But maybe you’ll get “lucky” and daddy swoops in with his cape (money) and the increased expectations that the groom will never screw anything up that comes with it.
Sure, someone else might be footing the bill for your wedding might seem appealing at first. But think about this…if they are not extremely well off, they are probably dipping into their skimpy retirement account to help you out. And when they get older and can’t afford to pay for their own retirement, you’re going to have to either:
- foot the bill for their assisted living
- invite them to live with you
Bet that will make you think twice about accepting those wedding funds with open hands.
So How do You Keep your Wedding Expenses Down?
I’m going to give you the full story about how I was able to keep my wedding costs to just $2,500 in an upcoming post. But I’ll whet your appetite with three things to think about as you plan your wedding:
- This is your day. Keep that in mind as you plan. And don’t let others plan for you.
- Limit your guest list to the essential people you want there.
- Make your own traditions. Am I the only one who thinks that the ‘traditional American wedding’ is more like a funeral than a celebration? The McWedding tradition is one that is begging to be broken.
- You don’t have to invite everyone. Period.
Whatever you do, DO NOT crowdfund your wedding. It’s your responsibility, you pay for it.
Wedding Cost Discussion:
- How much did your wedding cost or would you be comfortable spending on a wedding?
- Do you have regret over how much your wedding cost?
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When I hear figures like that one for the average wedding, I get very upset. The wedding industrial complex and Pinterest are to blame. I enjoyed reading about your wedding on a shoestring budget and wish more couples would do like you did!
As a loyal reader, I feel compelled to point out that you should replace “wet” with “whet.”
This reminds me of an episode of Friends, where Monica learns Chandler has a lot of money stashed away. She’s really excited that he can use it to make the wedding more extravagant. He refuses to touch it, saying “do you want a great wedding or do you want a great marriage?” He also irritates Monica by constantly referring to the wedding as a party, but that’s really all it is.
Smart man, that Chandler. If only the actor portraying him didn’t have terrible drug issues…
That’s about the only good life lesson I’ve ever heard from “Friends”.
Had an amazing wedding in a tourist town at a brewery almost 2 years ago AND a 2 week honeymoon in St. Lucia at high end resorts for less than that average wedding cost…all paid for with cash (actually cash rewards credit card and then balance paid next day)…
To this day I still have a friend or two a month tell me or my wife how it was one of the best weddings they’ve ever been to.
$30K….WOW. I got married 5 years ago, and my wedding cost just under $10K. If I was doing it over again, I’d probably spend a little less, invite fewer people, and change/skip a few details. I hadn’t been to many weddings beforehand, so I didn’t really know what I was doing. But it’s not something I think about much, and those little details have almost zero bearing on my life right now…
I agree with you on cutting down the guest list. It’s SO hard though – it was so awkward at the time. I was in college when I got married, and most people we knew had never been to a friend’s wedding. It seemed like everybody who’d ever had a conversation with one of us assumed they were invited to the wedding and could bring a date. I was uncomfortable drawing lines between friend groups and deciding who was in or out, so we just ended up inviting a ton of people.
My biggest piece of advice for keeping wedding spending in check is to set a budget at the beginning, and prioritize which wedding traditions really matter to you. If you just decide on things as you go, you’ll likely get swept into overpaying for things you don’t really care about and that your guests will barely notice.
I find it insane that people put themselves into debt for a wedding. These numbers are very disturbing indeed. There are so many better places you could allocate your funds. A wedding is about so much more than this. Thanks for the thought provoking article.
My wife and I got married 10 years ago and spent $8K on the wedding and $5K on the honeymoon. My biggest advice is to skip the full size meal and alcohol. We had a “dessert bar” with cookies, various bite size treats and make your own ice cream sundaes. No one complained that they didn’t get a free steak dinner and wine.
I think that when people are planning a wedding they fail to think about the future. The excitement of planning a wedding can make you spend more money than you realize at the time.
$30K….WOW. I got married 5 years ago, and my wedding cost just under $10K. If I was doing it over again, I’d probably spend a little less, invite fewer people, and change/skip a few details. I hadn’t been to many weddings beforehand, so I didn’t really know what I was doing. But it’s not something I think about much, and those little details have almost zero bearing on my life right now…
I agree with you on cutting down the guest list. It’s SO hard though – it was so awkward at the time. I was in college when I got married, and most people we knew had never been to a friend’s wedding. It seemed like everybody who’d ever had a conversation with one of us assumed they were invited to the wedding and could bring a date. I was uncomfortable drawing lines between friend groups and deciding who was in or out, so we just ended up inviting a ton of people.
My biggest piece of advice for keeping wedding spending in check is to set a budget at the beginning, and prioritize which wedding traditions really matter to you. If you just decide on things as you go, you’ll likely get swept into overpaying for things you don’t really care about and that your guests will barely notice.
If the bride and groom are older and independent, then, yes, they ought to pay for the wedding. That’s why the statistics show the “tradition” of bride’s parent paying in decline. For young or first-love marriages, I think it’s intact. We just footed the bill for my dtr’s wedding and were happy to do so. About $5k total for 80 guests. It’s the only time she’s going to do this, so we definitely didn’t want to make it feel cheap. The key is to spend where it’s important and save where it doesn’t matter. For her, that meant spending a lot on her dress, finding the right venue, using real china and silverware, and having enough food for guest. We went less expensive on the photography (paid someone by the hour and a second person family member as a gift), flowers (gave the florist the $ amount we could spend and she worked in that), cake (Walmart did a great job!), and we made our own food.
I like the Filipino tradition – when our friends got married, the family members all chose one aspect of the wedding to fund as their gift. Much smarter than an appliance the bride and groom are never going to use.
I just had my wedding yesterday and all together we spent close to $4,700. I can not say I regret some areas but there were a few areas in hind-sight we would do differently or tried to do differently.
First our guestlist to our reception ballooned. At first had 40 guests invited and the bride’s father interveened to invite his brother. We decided not to argue with him over the request as he was officiating the ceremony and purchasing the cakes. Then I felt guilty that there was about 20 people we would invite before him so we maxed out the room’s 55 person capacity. It is fine and I am glad we did that but it did add about $300 worth of cost.
All of my guests had to travel and her guests were local or stayed locally with her family. I had my guests stay in the city were I lived which is a 30 minute drive from the venue. I decided to rent a shuttle bus which cost about $600. In hind sight I should have had them stay near the venue and have me and my wife rent a room out there and saved $400 by eliminating the shuttle. This could have possibly saved a bit more as maybe some designated drivers would have drank less (I had a open tab for booze and not the all you can drink price per head).
Everything else was fairly reasonable. The restaurant did not charge us the room fee or bartender fee (negotiated) just the cost per head plus booze, admin fee and cake cutting fee. Our total restaurant bill was $2,040 including tip. A side note: it was the first time anyone had the ceremony at the restaurant (Dinosaur Bar-B-Que in Troy, NY) but they were super accomidating. She found a good deal on a dress, borrowed jewlery and I wore an existing suit. Rings were Tiffany so we could have saved a bit there but I already got her the engagement ring from Tiffany’s so we stuck with them. A family friend did the photography who does it only on the side. We had him there for only the first hour and cost us $200. Like I mentioned before the cake was bought by the brides parents and the father did the ceremony.
Although it was not the least costly wedding ever and could have saved a few hundred hear and there we stayed under our $5K budget that we saved and everyone had a wonderful time.